While it is dark outside (Chapter Three)

Chapter three: damaged and incomplete. 

(To read chapter one, and two, just scroll down).

Chaos is everywhere. Jaime is looking at me, waiting for me to react, to do something. To help, to yell, to cry or to crawl into a ball and zone out. Something. Anything. But I just stand there. Taking it all in. Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.

"Thomas?". Her voice is distant.
"We have to help him" I say.
"Who?"
"The man, in that seat". I stare at him, he is unaware of everything around him, he is screaming as he tries to free himself of the pressure of the seatbelt, completely unaware that is he does that, he will fall.

I don't say anything else to Jaime. I just start running toward the plane. I stumble into a body, but I don't stay to look at it, I just continue running until I am in front of the crash. I look up.
"Sir!.... Sir!" I scream. "Stop that". He takes no notice of my voice, he just continues to struggle. "Sir!" I scream again. I look at the broken plane. I can make my way to him, climb trough the broken seats.

"SIR!" Jaime's voice is right behind me, "We are gonna help you, but you have to stay still".
The man hears her voice and stares at us terrified.
"Don't move!" I tell him.

I start to climb, adrenaline pumping my whole body. I'm not sure how I mange to do it. When I finally reach him I manage to stabilize my legs between two seats. I finally look at him closely. He is around 45 years old, he is a handsome man, in a very expensive suit. He sorts of reminds me of my father. The last time I saw him.

"It´s stuck" he says to me. His voice is rough. There is blood in his hands, but I can't figure out where it is coming from. I look at the seatbelt and notice that it is stuck in his own belt. "I can't breathe" he says to me "it's too tight". I have to get him out. Now.

"Ok" I say to him. "You have to try to hold on into this" I say to him and point the seat to his right. "And put your left foot here, so you don't fall when the seatbelt is no longer supporting you, ¿ok?".
"I don't think I can do it".
"Yes, you can" I say to him.
"No, I can't. I can't.... I can't feel my legs". He stares at me waiting for some sort of confort from my part, like "oh that's normal", "no, that doesn't mean anything", "I'm sure you will walk again". But I can't.

"Ok, then" I say to him. I asses the situation. I look around me and I see a pink scarf in the seat next to where I stand. I take it, move slowly and put it carefully behind his back.

"Jaime!" I scream.
"Yes" she screams back.
"Do you see a policeman, or firefighter, or anyone that could help us here?"
She looks around her. It isn't until this moment that I notice that something is missing in this hell. A sound. A very common, scary, but at the same time conforming, sound. A siren. An ambulance, the police, someone. There is only screaming.
"I don't see... I can´t, there is just... NO!" She screams.

I sight heavily. Ok.
"So, this is what we are going to do, the moment you are free, I'm going to pull you with this towards me, but I need you to help me, use all the strength you have in your arms so you can reach this seat, and then we will find a way to get you down. Are you in?" I ask.

He just nods. His breathing is slowing down. He is so pale. I can't wait any longer. I wrap the ends of the scarf around my hands.

"The seat belt is stuck to your belt" I say to the man. "Try to release the lock in your belt. Carefully" I say. With trembling hands the man stars to unbuckle his expensive accessory.
"There" he says with relief.
"Now, grab the seat with one arm, and with the other your gonna open the seatbelt. And I'm going to pull you toward me. At the count of three". He grabs the seat, his knuckles are white.

"One, two..." I steady myself for the next move, ready to pull him.
"Three" I say. The seat belt clicks, I pull with all my strength.

I hear Jaime screaming. I look down, still holding the man. And I see something is missing, something very important. His legs. I am holding tightly to the upper body of the man. I stare at his face, searching for something. But he is pale. Not breathing. Gone. Like the rest of his body.

He was cut in two, how did I not notice that? How was he still alive, and breathing... and talking to me? The strength of my arms give up and I release what is left of him. I see him fall, the rest of his body following his other half.  How? How? How? I keep asking myself. How was he cut in two? How was he kept together? How?

I don't want to stay here any longer. Carefully, I start to climb back down. I don't trust my legs and arms to function the way they should. When I am in the ground, I see his body. Jaime is kneeling beside him. Her hands in her face.

I walk towards her.
"We should have waited for help" she says. "You should have waited for help. You killed him".

What? I feel something familiar rising inside of me. "You killed him" she says again.
Anger, that is what is building inside of me. I was trying to help the man. No one was coming. And he was cut in two. How was I supposed to know that?

She stands up. "We should have waited for help!" She screams at me. "It´s all your fault. You let him die!" She slaps me hard.
I feel so angry. Something is taking over me.
"You useless bastard! You are just like your father!" She says and she slaps me again. "You are a mistake! A mistake!"

My arms and hands jump right in front of me, towards her throat. They start choking her. But she is still spitting words filled with venom. I put more pressure and I close my eyes.

"Thomas" she chokes out. "Stop" she says. "I can´t.... breathe". Something hits me in the back. I open my eyes and I see her, below me, her head resting in the pillow. I recognize that pillow, how did we get here? Her lips are turning blue.

We are home. I am home. I release my grip and jump backwards. Jaime starts coughing, filling her lungs with air. I look around me. We are at our room. What just happened?

It hits me. It was dream, I was dreaming. It wasn't real. There was no plane crash. No severed man. It was dream. Except, expect the part where I chocked Jaime. Her hair is in her face, she is touching her throat, her breathing is slowing down.

I was chocking her. I almost killed her.
I. Almost. Killed. Her.

To be continued....

C.L.S.A