A or B, no C or D
By: Carla L. Sierra Arzuffi
Chapter three (and last one): The dices.
Link is
holding his breath, I can sense he is loving and savoring this moment.
“You don’t
have a lot of options” he finally says. “There comes a moment in all humans
life when they must make a decision, and to very, very, very few I can help
them to know the consequences of each path before they take one”.
We are both
silent for a few seconds. “What decision must I make?” I whisper.
“Oh, I’m
glad you asked Rebecca”, he starts pacing in my bed. Even though he is just a
small creature I am scared of the things that come out of his mouth, deep down
inside of me I know he is not here to save my life or something like that, but
to change it in a drastic way, and I’m fearing that the options he is talking
about have an unpleasant outcome.
“You see,
when last night you had intercourse with that other human, you unlaced a series
of unstoppable events to come. Now, I am obligated to say this, but even though
I’m about to tell you your future, no matter what path you choose, you will not
be able to change it, am I being clear?”
“No, I
still don’t truly understand what you are saying” I start feeling thirsty and
anxious, like something is crawling inside my skin and I cant get it out no
matter what.
“What I
mean, my sweet girl, is that many men and woman have wasted the time that they
are given to make a decision to try to change the outcome, and I must be very
clear, it cant be changed, no matter what, so don’t waste your time”
“Can I have
some water?” Is all that I can say, Link nods and I go to my small kitchen and pour
myself some water from the tab into my favorite king size water cup. I drink
eagerly. When I go back to my room Link is playing with some dices. They make
him look even smaller when he holds them. The dices are, of course, like no
other dices I have ever seen. Link is throwing them in the air; every time he
does it they change color, instead of having numbers they seem to have letters,
and apparently they also change.
“What’s
that?" I ask, although I already have a feeling to where we are heading.
“We will
get to that” Link says, he puts the dices inside his small pants, and its like
they disappear, no trace of them for the moment. I sit on my couch and stare at
the leprechaun.
“Well,
continue then” I say, feeling tired.
“So, last
night” Link says “you had sex, and because of that, here we are. In this very
moment you are already pregnant”. He pauses expecting me to smile or cry or
something.
This whole
thing is so surreal to me that I don’t even manage to make a sound.
“Ok. And
also, you had a casting, I’m I right’”.
He asks even though he knows I’m not going to answer.
“Rebecca,
you are going to get the part, and this job will make you famous, very famous,
it will push your career quickly. Like an epidemic, you will rapidly be in
everyone’s conversations. You will be in magazines, more movies, red carpets
and all that fame drags. But….”
Of course
there is a but, I cant expect to have everything I dreamed of so easily right?.
I am scared.
“But…” Link
continues smiling wickedly. “You are pregnant, so you can’t do the movie that
is going to send you like speedy Gonzales into Hollywood if, you are pregnant”
“So” I say
putting my hands into my face “You are saying that I can be a mom, or I can be
famous, but I can’t be both. What if I choose to be famous and then, later in
life, I can become a mom, in the right time”
“No. Here
is the tricky part. Listen well girl” Link jumps out of my bed and walks slowly
to the couch where he sits right next to me. I can’t look at him. I don’t want
to.
“I’m going
to be very clear. Here are your two options.” Link’s voice is now very official,
like he is a cop, I’m a caught burglar and he is stating my rights while he is
cuffing me.
“Option A:
You choose to have this baby, by the way, its going to be a girl. If you have
her, you wont be able to do the movie, you will not become famous. But you will
eventually get married, be very much in love with your husband, have tree more
children, including twins, you will live a long, not very wealthy life. You
will get to see your children have children and your children’s children have
children. You will die an old woman”.
I try to
swallow the whole information, my future, but I just can’t picture it.
“Option B:
You choose to not have this baby, like I said, you will do the movie, become
very, very famous. And you will die, young. You will get to enjoy the fruits of
your stardom well enough, and when you die, you will become even more famous,
because you died. You will become and icon, everyone will know your name and
story. But, you will never have children, or find love, you will not see your thirtieth
birthday.”
I am
stunned, I can’t even think, how can I know this stupid little dude is even
saying the truth? It can’t be real; all of this must be a dream. I can’t make
that sort of choice. Why can’t I have both? I want to be famous, it’s all I
ever wanted, but I don’t want to die young, childless and unloved.
My brain is
working a thousand miles per hour; I don’t know how long we have been sitting
here, while I say nothing.
“That’s it
Rebecca. I am obligated to say, yet again, that you can’t change the future, it
is what it is.” Links says softly.
“Why?” I
say. Somehow my voice is nearly a scream and I am no longer sitting but
standing “Why?, I mean, why did you have to tell me this?, why couldn’t you
just let me choose in the moment,
without knowing the consequences.” I am crying like a big fat baby.
“It is my
job” Link says “I have done this forever, you are not the first person to have
to do this, I could tell you a thousand names you would probably recognize that
they had to make a choice and they knew, by us, the leprechauns, the
consequences”.
I sob and
sob for minutes, I can’t breathe. I feel a hand on my shoulder, Link is
touching me.
I stop
crying and start to feel relaxed. I suddenly understand that it is indeed the
truth I am hearing. And I know I have to make a choice, and I understand the
why.
I open my
eyes and Link is no longer there. I am alone, crumbled in my floor holding
myself. I search franticly for some evidence of the leprechaun. The stain on my
bed is gone, but there, where it used to be, are the dices. They are red, I
take them into my hand, the first one says A, and the other one B. That’s all
that is left of this magical creature.
We all have
to make choices; we don’t realize how often we do. It’s a cruel gift to know
the series of events that your choices bring. But it’s a gift. You would think
knowing would make it harder, but in the end, even while Link was talking, I
knew what my choice would be.
The hard
thing is not knowing, it is letting go. We hold on to so many things because we
scared to just be what we are supposed to and not what we think we have to be.
Do we really think we know what we want? To do what you want, or what you think
you want, or what you think someone else wants for you, or what you are
expected.
That day I did not learned my future, or
the truth about magical creatures, or the joke someone’s life can be, or the
little we have control over things, I learned the most important lesson, I
learned to finally be myself, I learned to Just. Let. Go.
I made my
choice.
THE END.
It´s over. Can you guess what choice she made? I know, do you?
Thanks for reading.
Have a nice life.
