The lucky four

There are four (because five is too mainstream) people that have completely changed my life without them knowing it. They have been a complete inspiration and essential in particular moments in my life. I don't know them and they obviously don't know me, but I will always love them and be grateful.
Here they are:

1. J.k Rowling: Harry Potter did so many things for me, when I was 13 it brought my love for reading back to life, it united me with my now best friends and it took me to a magical world on and on and on and on. What more can I ask for? Thanks J.K!

2. Peter Jackson: he is the director of my favorite movies of all time "The Lord of the Rings", of course the books are amazing (thanks Tolkien) but for me this is the ONLY case that a movie is better than the book. My love for this trilogy is eternal, it will never die, and whenever I need to cheer up, I just sit and watch this amazing (extended versions) movies for a whole weekend and then everything is somehow alright.  Thanks Peter!

3. Cat Stevens: now known as Yusuf Islam. His songs and lyrics manage to inspire and touch me every single time. Its weird, its like this stranger and me are connected, and the things he sings and talks about make perfect sense. His music was there when I must needed something/someone to understand. Thanks Yusuf!

4. Kelly Link: two years ago I didn't know who this lady was, but by chance, when I was traveling in Rome, I came across one of her books entitled: "Pretty Monsters". Long story short, this book, by this particular author helped me come out of my shell as a writer. I use to love writing, but I always felt stiff, like I couldn't just write what I wanted, but then I read Miss Link and then Booooom!, I felt allowed and entitled to put on writing my crazy ideas, worlds, characters and peculiar way of writing, she helped finally set free my style as a writer. Thanks Kelly!

I had to draw them because, well, just because!
Hasta la vista baby!

C.L.S.A 

Mary-go-round (Chapter five)

Mary-go-round

By: Carla Sierra Arzuffi

Chapter five: "Riddles" 

When my mom woke me up in the morning I had trouble opening my eyes, my whole body felt heavy.

"Good morning sweetheart, how are you feeling?" my mom said as she opened the curtains.

I moaned pulling the covers over my head.

Everything about last night came back to me in a flash. Peter. Peter was here. The book. Old Tom. I had to meet Peter at the cliff.

I quickly pushed myself out of bed as my mom continued to make a survey of my room, picking clothes form the floor and rearranging things. I felt dizzy from the sudden sprout and I had to sit to recover myself. I saw the book was in the floor so I quickly picked it up and I placed it bellow my pillow. 

"What time is it?" I asked my mom placing my hands in my head. 

"9:00 am" she answered "I hope you are feeling better, Im gonna make you homemade pancakes with homemade syrup". She encouraged me to get up and directed me into the bathroom to take a shower.

I let the water run cold, I needed to be completely awake and aware of everything if I was going to be able to continue in this insanity of a plot that was developing around my life.

Breakfast went as usual, every now and then I would catch my dad looking at me in a weird way , maybe he knew something. Ok that was crazy, he didn't know anything, but maybe he sensed something had changed within me, I could sense it too, but I could not see it, maybe he could. Although my dad was a regular poster dad, he went to work all week, he played golf on the weekends, he was a master with the barbecue in get togethers and he treated my mother kindly and with respect, sometimes he would say something that would completely throw me off, just a quick comment that made me think he wasn't completely taken and settled with the perfectness of things and life. Or maybe I just wanted to believe that. At this point, everything was a riddle inside my brain. 

The hours passed slowly, but finally at 11:15 I took the book, said my goodbyes to my family and told them I was going into town to buy socks, which I really needed, that wasn't a lie, entirely.  

My cliff was at the outskirts of town, people never went there, they didn't need to, they had everything they needed inside our perfect little town. From this magical place I could see the mountains stretching endlessly into the sky, it always made me feel better to sit at the edge and just stare at the wholeness of the world I so desperately wanted to figure out. 

The walk to the cliff usually took me half and hour, but today I was walking slower than usual, so exactly at 11:55 I was climbing the road to my magical place. From the distance I saw him. So it hadn't been a dream, it was real. Peter was back in town. 

He was staring into the mountains so he didn't see me coming, but Im sure he could hear me. 

"Hey" I said softy. 

Peter turned and I could finally see his face clearly. He was still beautiful.

"Hey" he said back with a smile. "Im glad you came" 

Of course I would come, I thought to myself. How could I not. 

He motioned me to sit as he did the same. Our legs hanged from the cliff as the warm air crashed softly into our faces and hair. 

"I need you to tell me everything" I said staring right into his eyes. For a moment it was like he had never left, like we were still 17, young and happy. 

"Yes" Peter said, he took a deep breath. 

We were silent for a few seconds, and then he started his story. 

"We had no waring, it all happened so quickly, that night, the night of prom, I arrived home with my spirits high, since it had been a wonderful night" 

I smiled remembering it all. 

"I was surprised to see the lights on, since I thought my parents would be in bed, but they were not. As I entered the house I saw my mom sitting on the couch with her hands on her face, I could hear my dad at his study, moving stuff, cursing. I approached my mom and asked if everything was alright, she looked and me, and with that simple look I knew something was wrong. I walked inside my dads study and I saw him going through piles and piles of paper, he stopped for a second and all he said was "I´m sorry", I didn't know what he was asking forgiveness for, but a few seconds later there was a big crash on the door, I heard my mother scream. I saw five men, dresses all in black come inside, my adrenaline was running high, I tried to protect my father, but it was a stupid attempt, one of the men in black approached me and touched me with something, I don't remember or know what it was, but I was immediately out, darkness took me, and I feel asleep, or something like that. I was aware, conscious in a way, but nothing around me in this darkness made sense". 

I didn't know what was Peter talking about, I could see he didn't truly understand it himself, he was still confused, I moved my hand and placed it into his. This seemed to gave him strength to continue his story. 

"I dont know how long I was out, it could have been minutes, hours, days or months, but then light started to creep slowly into my dreams, and I woke up. I was in my bed, in my room. I remember being so confused, and everything was a blur, I heard my mothers voice downstairs, even though I was dizzy I managed to get out of bed and walk down the stairs following the familiar voice of the woman I used to know as my mother, and there she was, in the kitchen, making breakfast. My dad came in, he smiles at me and said "Good morning champ" my mother turned and started at me "Hey Peter, did you sleep well?" she said. I was confused, to say the least. But then I wasn't, in just a second. It was like everything was okay again, like everything had just been a bad dream. Life went on as usual, or at least I thought it did. Everything felt normal, we all looked normal, except we weren't." 

I risked interrupting him "Peter" I said "I don't really understand what you are saying". 

"I know" he answered "I didn't at first, Im telling you what I remember, how I remember it, how I felt". 

He shifted his body so he was now staring directly at me. 

"The thing was, nothing was normal, I didn't notice, we didn't noticed, but we never left the house, I don't know how we could not see that, it was so obvious, but we didn't, it all was like a dream, like a movie that kept playing over and over again. We were trapped, inside the house, inside the same routine, every single day. Again, I don't know how long we were like this, I was blinded, doped, lost. But one day, I woke up, and I could remember, I could remember you. You had been lost inside my head for so long. I didn't remember you existed, but suddenly I did. Mary, you. And then I could remember almost everything, my past, my life, and I knew something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong"

TO BE CONTINUED.....

I´m alive, I think. All my loving.

C.LS.A

Mary-go-round (Chapter four)

Mary-go-round

By: Carla Sierra Arzuffi

Chapter four: Peter

The last time I saw Peter was four years ago, at prom night. Peter and I grew up together, we were always in the same classroom and he lived just a few houses from mine. His mom and mine were good friends so we had a lot of play dates together. As we grew older the uncomfortable feeling of growing up and actually becoming a girl and a boy put a strain on our friendship for a while, but we managed to save it, he was my rock.

After he and his family moved away (disappeared) the day after prom night I had a hard time copping. People in our town don’t just move away, it is a very weird thing to happen, but every 10 years or something, it happens, and when it does, they never come back. At first it always shocks the community, but then they start talking less and less about them until they are just a forgotten memory, like they never existed.

Me on the other hand, I couldn’t just let go. The space that Peter had left was hard to fill, when someone is that crucial to your life and routine you cant just simply cut the cords and move on. At first, I didn’t understand how everyone else could do it, I would watch my mom for hours trying to catch a glimpse of her missing Peters’ mom, it never happened.

Every time I tried to talk about it, talk about him, the people around me would just smile and say “He is gone Mary, you just have to move on”. And I tried. I really tried. The truth was that I had been in love with Peter, actual-real-love, every fiber of my body and mind was attached to him, when I was with him I felt like I could continue this fake life is Peter was by my side.

The only person I could talk to about Peter was, of course, old Tom. He always listened, he would let me rant, cry and sometimes laugh hysterically. He just sat there, waiting patiently until I poured out everything I was feeling. I knew he could understand me, because when he was younger, much younger, something similar had happened to him.

Peter never talked about moving, or going anywhere, I knew things where tense inside his family; Peter talked about his dad and mom fighting, which is very unusual in this town. His dad was a researcher for the elders, I never knew exactly what he did, but Peter said it was something important.

So, I couldn’t understand how it was possible that Peter was here right now, and that I was actually seeing him. Peter no longer looked like a boy, he was better built now, and he had a hint of a beard, but his face looked the same. Peter moved his arm, motioning me to go down to the patio. I was wearing a thin nightgown and nothing else, my feet were bare, my hair was a mess after the bath and I again was sweating like a baby pig. But none of that mattered. My body moved like a magnet being pulled into his opposite and before I could notice I was outside.

The night was dark, I searched for Peter, who was just a few minutes, or seconds ago, standing right here, but I could not see him. A thought crossed my mind, maybe I was finally going crazy and with everything that had happened today I could not deny that it was a possibility, and now I was imagining people. But then I heard a “Psstt, Mary, over here”

I turned right and I saw something moving in the bushes, I moved quickly, when I reached the place were I was sure I had heard Peter voice I felt something, someone put his arms around me. At first I flinched, it scared me, but even though I could not see him, I could smell him. It was Peter. Defeated I put my arms around him.

“Its so good to see you Mary” Peter whispered in my ear. I don’t know why, but hearing this made something inside me burn, I pulled away and I slapped him right in the face.

I could now make out his features. He touched his cheek and smiled.

“I guess I deserved that, in some way”.

“What are you doing here” I said, my voice was breaking “Where did you go? Why? Why didn’t you told me? You were gone, and you never called or send me a letter or a smoke signal that your were okay”

Peter looked right into my eyes as I let myself say some of the things I had been holding for years. I couldn’t help it, I started crying, the warm tears fell into my cheeks reminding me what it felt to feel something.

“Well, that’s a lot of questions” Peter said with just a hint of pain in his eyes “I know I would have the same ones, I want to explain, I will explain, but not now, not here” he whispered.

I stared at him in shock “What is happening, I don’t understand anything”.

“I know you don’t, at first I didn’t too, but you will soon. You have to be strong, I know you can”.

I swallowed and whipped the tears with my hands “Okay” was all I said.

Peter smiled, it was his same beautiful smile, that smile that use to make everything okay, and just for a second I felt like everything could be okay.

“Meet me tomorrow at the cliff, be there around noon, and I will explain, bring the book” with that said he moved and gave my cheek a sweet kiss, I felt the warmth of his lips touch my tears, and then he was gone.

I knew now that old Tom, Peter and the book were connected, but I still didn’t know why. I walked back to my house and room; I picked the book from the floor. I crumbled into my bed holding it, and even though I thought I was not tired, I instantly fell asleep.

 To be continued ......

C.LS.A

Mary-go-round (Chapter three)

"Mary-go-round"

By Carla Sierra Arzuffi

Chapter three: "Sweaty baby pig"

Tom had written the book, old Tom, my old Tom, how could I have not noticed this earlier?
It was just there, so obvious to notice. My mind was racing a thousand miles per second trying to recover every bit of information I could remember about this book. I could remember the story almost perfectly, but I wanted to remember what old Tom had said to me about this book. I couldn't remember.

I felt blocked, the silence of house, as dawn was creeping into the windows made me shiver, I didn't feel safe here. I took the book and managed to hide it inside my clothes, placing it close to my stomach. I didn't want anyone to see me getting out of old Tom´s house, so I again used the back door.

I started my way home, hiding in the bushes, if anyone saw me, they would think I was crazy, I looked suspicious, so when I was finally near my block I walked right into the street and tried to look normal (happy).
When I finally stood in front of my house I felt relived, but just a few seconds, because the moment I crossed the front door I started to panic that my family would notice something was "off" with me. And yes, something was definitely off with me.

I tried to creep silently into my room but before I could climb the stairs my mom spoke.
"Mary, is that you?"
Her head popped into the living room, she was wearing her usual "#1 mom and wife" apron, which only meant she was cooking dinner.
"Oh, it is you" she said with a smile "I was beginning to get worried that you wouldn't come for dinner" all I could do was make my biggest effort to force a crooked and false smile.
"Of course not mom" I answered.

"Good, I want you to help me with dinner, Im almost done, Im making homemade vegetables pie, it is going to be delicious. Come come" she said as she disappeared into the living room.

I quickly took out the book from my now-sweaty-from-panic clothes and I stuffed it below the nearest couch.

I helped my mom with dinner, then I had to sit trough the whole event while my dad, mom and sister chitchatted about their day. They where eating slowly, every chew seemed like a thousand years to me. I was lost in thought when my dad spoke to me.

"Honey are you okay?" he asked.
I shifted in my seat, "Yeah dad, sure, why?"
"Well, I was talking to you, did you hear me at all?"
Of course I had not heard him.
"What is wrong with you?" my sister asked "You are sweating like a baby pig"
The words baby pig made me chuckle a little, it was all just so fake and irrational, why couldn't she say: Like a pig. She had to turn everything into a cutsie performance.
They where all staring at me.

"Im sorry" I managed to say "I guess Im not feeling that well, maybe I have the flu or something"
This seem to settle them.
"Oh the flu, my poor baby" my mom said "Im going to make you my homemade flu syrup, and by tomorrow morning you will feel better", everything  my mom did was homemade.

After dinner my mom pampered me, made me take a bath (I guess I really needed one, I was soaked in sweat), she made me drink her magical syrup and I was sent to bed early.

I just sat there, in my room, waiting for everyone to go to bed so I could recover the book. Finally at around 11:00 pm I heard my dad turn off the lights in the hallway.
I waited another twenty minutes or so and then I carefully went downstairs. I was relived to find the book was where I had left it.
I tipped toed back again into my room.
I sat in bed and opened the book.
If I was going to find the answers to this awful, confusing mess I knew I had to read the book all over again.
I made myself comfortable and started reading:

They were all lost souls, they all knew each other, they where all trapped. The fair was always as it was. The games, lights, food and characters where always the same. Although they were all tired and restless they did the same thing, over and over again. Jaime was in charge of the mechanics, Kate was in charge of the food, Nestor was in charge of the tickets, and so on and so on. They couldn't change their routine, because if they did, terrible terrible things could happen.

As I was finishing the first paragraph and recalling the first time I had read it there was a loud "crack" at my window. I jumped. The book fell into the floor.
A few seconds passed as my breathing got higher and higher, and then there was another loud "crack".
I could feel my heart in my ears, methodically racing, boom-boom-boom-boom.
I slowly got out of bed and approached my window,
There, standing in my lawn, was him.
Him.
"Peter" I breathed out.

To be continued. 

If you want should  read the other chapter just scroll down, as easy as that. Badaboom.

C.LS.A